My Bruised and Battered Psyche Revealed, or Why I Don't Write Non-Con
I've been lurking around Remittance Girl's blog recently. She's currently doing some very interesting digging into subversive erotica, and what happens when big publishers decide what's "okay" to print. Specifically, most pubs won't touch things like non-consent, bodily fluids other than the usual semen and vaginal fluid, or most other things that happen to be illegal (incest, under age sex, bestiality, necrophilia, etc...)
The problem, of course, with banning these things is that it calls into question the ethics not only of the acts themselves, but of the people who find those acts arousing. And there is nothing at all wrong with a woman (for example) who jerks off to the fantasy of being gang raped, or of gang raping, or of being or owning a helpless sex slave, etc...
Specifically, then, if I am so pro-empowering women (specifically, but anyone at all, really) to own their sexual fantasies, why do I myself never write non-consent? The best answer to that is that I don't know if I can. See, consent is my biggest, BIGGEST kink. I love it when my partner screams, but I want her to WANT to scream. I love it when my characters bleed, but I need them to have hoped to end the night bloody. I'm just not evolved enough as an author to write something as a titillating sex scene that would specifically turn me off. (I don't write about adult baby play, either. Contrary to rape, which I am very much AGAINST, I think AB play is very much okay, it just squicks me. Sorry AB players!)
Right now, in order to write what I consider to be arousing or titillating sex scenes, I need to write about something that turns me on. Don't confuse that with my only writing what I have done/want to do! I write M/M with glee, I write from the male POV all the time! I write things that I would never, ever do, but I am turned on by what I write. And non-con, ACTUAL sexual assault just... turns me off. In a big way.
Kudos to the people who can write convincing and arousing (even if it's not to me) non-con. Thank you for validating the fantasies of those who wank off to fantasies of that sort of thing. It is your work that I will always reference when people ask me where to find good non-consensual smut. Maybe one day I'll be able to write it. In the meantime, I do what I can to validate those deep-dark fantasies by giving my characters those same fantasies, and then acknowledging that while Jenny gets off thinking of getting kidnapped by a swarthy stranger, she doesn't actually WANT some random dude to abduct her from her home and fuck the daylights out of her, possibly killing her afterward. She wants the rush, the fear, the excitement, sure, and I love to give those to my characters, but, always the cheater, I find a way to make sure it's all negotiated first.
Madeline Elayne's short stories and novellas delve into alternative sexuality and fetish/kink from the point of view of all genders and sexual orientations. She firmly believes that everyone would benefit from having a superhero secret (or not-so-secret) identity. Hers is Mad the Safety Ranger, whose intermittent articles encourage new-to-the-scene folk to explore the safer side of kink.